My Boring Ass Blog

I had a late start today, but still made it to work on time. Norwalk was quiet, which I mostly spent organizing the schedule of cable casts. And that's all I have to say about the subject of work.

After work, I dropped off My Boring Ass Life (by Kevin Smith) at Justin's place. I borrowed it from him nearly six months ago, and barely finished it today. But the read is an amazing blend interesting, boring, and funny moments in his life. It actually helped to inspire me to catch up with my own blog, which might take as long as it takes to write the regularly scheduled blog. Oi!

We watched two episodes of Louie, a half-hour show written and directed by the comedian Louie C.K. And I have to say... the show is really good. Sometimes it has a full episode story line, and other times its a few vignettes sewn together. But its really good because it goes from funny, to truthful, and then serious, and right back to funny. I'm really impressed.

Topics of Conversation: Dentists, dubbing, silly weapons, salsa dancing looks hard, real life funny, 230 gigs for a steal, mashed potato casserole, etc.

-Nate

No Shelter From Stupidity

January 20, 2010:

I woke up to an automated Flood warning for Stanton. Which is a great way to start your morning. So I looked around the room at everything that was on the floor. It was enough to worry me. After I took a shower and got ready, I grabbed my guitar, laptop, and some books and tossed them on top of my bed. That's really all I could do in a short notice. Cuz you know what day it flippin' is? Flippin' Wednesday. My favorite day of the week!

Mother Nature could have her watery psychotic episode all she wanted, but New Comic Wednesday is New Comic Wednesday. I headed over to the bank first so that I would have some money to properly enjoy the new comic books, and got into the store. I said hello to Lainey and Mark and then found out something that really pissed me off.

Lainey had been denied the right to adopt a cat AGAIN.

Now for all of you out there in internet land, you may not know Lainey. In fact, you probably didn't know she was trying to get a cat. Or that she had been doing so from a particular shelter. You also probably didn't know that said shelter is run by people who sniff glue and are heavily inbred. Cuz that's the only reason that makes any sense why they would say no.

Important Questions That Any Cat Shelter Should Ask:
1. Do you like cats?
2. Have you ever owned a cat?
3. Was your cat ever in poor health due to negligence?
4. How many years did your last cat live?

1 should be a Yes. 2 COULD be a yes. 3 should be a No. 4 should be a number over ten.

There. Really, you don't need a whole lot more. Unfortunately, Lainey went to a Shelter that didn't believe in common sense. They're main reason they decided to say no to Lainey was because of a chance the cat might go outside. It didn't matter that she answered the common sense questions of 1-3 correctly. It apparently didn't matter to these retards that her last cat lived for 17 years. 17. That's rare for a cat to make it that long.

But common sense and basic math just aren't enough for them. So now the cat that she would have gladly taken to a loving home is going to get to stay in a cage for an indefinite amount of time. And the shelter is a no-kill shelter, which is very nice, but the down side is where are all these cats going to stay? In the magic house made of pillows and happiness? Nope. Probably in a cage packed in with other cats. The people that run this shelter sure talk big about taking care of animals, but they're obviously more concerned with maintaining their sanctimonious attitude. And its that cats that pay the price.

Okay, I needed to get that out of my system.

I only picked up two comics today: Green Lantern Corps and Shazam. Very slow week, made even slower by the fact that Shazam was an issue from last week. But that's not bad, I'll make up for it next week.

Topics of Conversation @ Comics Unlimited: Shelters, Radioactive bug bites gone wrong, "webbing," underground orchards, house cut-outs, saran wrap, blogging, Spider-Man 4, Jay Leno's poor decisions, the follies of living in Oklahoma, Asians, birthdays, cat leg warmers, the Groovy Ghoulies, Michael Bay Comics, sleeves, its business time, blogging about blogging, etc.

When I got to Norwalk, I got to watch some thunder and lightning. But I was a little concerned, mostly because all the rain could add some difficulty to the fact that I work underground, so it was more likely to get flooded. Such is life.

I talked with a friend after work about trying to stay focused on getting things done within the year. The main thing that came to mind was to stay focused on things that we can control. Things that we can actually do, instead of wish oh wish we could do. So, we decided that having three attainable goals a month is a good start.

For Example:
1- Write a poem.
2- Read two books.
3- Run a mile every week.

I'm just glad I was able to get this entry and the 19th's entry finally finished. Ugh, I need to get some sleep...

-Nate

Dead Run

January 19, 2010:

Damn it.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

WAY behind the schedule here. Had a late night talk with a friend. Needed to be done. And the talk's contents are classified, so there.

So I'll just tell you, in depth, about the friggin' badass dream I had the night before.

*****

I call this dream/movie:

DEAD RUN.

(I don't know why, just feels right).

As dreams are, the chronology is sketchy, but from what I could tell, it opened with me, in a wrecked airport. I was wearing a brown leather jacket with jeans and a flannel button up shirt(which always seems to leak its way into my wardrobe). I was just walking around, when I run into a woman sleeping among the abandoned luggage. As I piece out what the heck she's doing there, I suddenly grab one of the old suitcases and spin around to block a knife that had been thrown at me. I then block another knife.

I finally see the bad guys that threw the knives. There's four of them, and they look to be wearing ragged black clothes with cheap white masks, each with a different expression molded onto the masks: Angry, Sad, Happy, and Neutral. (So for brevity's sake, that will be their names).

I turn around toward the woman and say, "You might want to high-tail it, miss." (Yeah, not my best dialogue, but believe me, it fits the character well). She looks at me, both scared and guilty, and takes off through a shattered plate glass door.

I pull both knives out of the luggage and stride over to the Emotives (again, just a name I came up with right now). As I spin the knives in my hands, the Emotives throw another knife at me...

Bad move, guys! This is MY dream!

As I deflect the knife, I take out Sad with a slash to the chest, and punch Happy so hard he spins around to face Angry. Before Happy can recover I kick him into Angry, and they both tumble to the floor. I take them out fast and have to face Neutral. Neutral is the main threat, and we fight throughout the airport in an amazing brawl. His main weapon is a cleaver, and he quickly knocks both of my knives out of my hands. I then use all the objects around me (Jackie Chan style) to weaken him and then go in for some punches that rattle him and then...

He's beaten and I'm standing over him, holding the cleaver. Its like someone hit skip on the remote and we're at the end of the fight. Kind of jarring, but oh well.

I hear chuckling. I then spin around and throw the cleaver into the nearby shadows that the chuckles came from. The chuckles stop for a moment, and then continue again, with a giant of a man walks out with the cleaver buried into his chest. He's looking down at the cleaver, and calmly reaches up and pulls the cleaver out. He then wipes his blood off the blade on his pants and then looks up at me.

His name is Chuckles, and he's a cross between the Joker from the Dark Knight and Ivan Drago from Rocky IV. War paint is mixing with blood and all over his face and chest. He has an intense stare and and never stops chuckling. He does not smile, but the corners of his lips are always twitching.

I know this is the Main Boss of the whole dream/movie. My fists clench and then I'm in a bar.

(Yeah, somebody hit the skip button in my head again).

I'm walking in and looking around. Nobody in the bar stops talking, but they are all looking at me. I have some cuts and bruises, and my jacket is gone. I see some thugs sitting at a table, but they don't notice me. I pause as I stop by some chains that are on the walls, possibly for decoration. (Semi-skip) a chain wraps around the lead thug's neck as I drag him up and over a booth wall.

"Where is she?!" I yell at him. The other four thugs are racing around the booth.

"Gg-huyck!" chokes the main thug.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" I yell again. (Apparently the woman from the beginning is missing? Apparently I'm looking for her? Apparently this movie/dream isn't heavy with dialogue?)

One of the other thugs reach for me, and I punch him in the face with a fist wrapped in chain. (I have two chains! Dig it!) He goes down unconscious. and the other three open fire with some guns they happen to have. I use the main thug as a shield AND a battering ram as I smash into the midst of them. The main thug is shot dead, but utilizing the chain still attached to him, I use him as a huge yo-yo and hit everybody with him. (I am very strong in this dream). I shake the thug I knocked out with one punch awake. He tells me where the woman is and I head out, grabbing a shotgun and a bandolier of shells from one of the dead thugs.

(JUMP CUT)

I'm pumping and firing my shotgun in rapid succession into a giant train/truck, and low and behold an explosion knocks the traick to its side, skidding to a halt a few yards into front of me. As I grimly reload the shotgun a door on the traick slowly opens and Chuckles lifts himself out and then sits on the edge of the traick.

He stares at me with sickening intensity, and calmly says "I'm glad to see you made it."
I pump my shotgun, "No way I'd miss this," I say with a grin.

JUMP CUT and then I wake up.

WHOA. And that was my dream.

*******

As for the rest of the 19th, I drove to work in the biggest rainstorm that Southern California has had in years. There was a ridiculous amount of water of water coming from the sky. I'm pretty sure the Gulf of Mexico was suspended over our heads. I will be the first to admit I wanted rain. But by "rain", I meant a gentle, calm whetting of the appetite. This storm that hit is overkill. Its like all my requests over the course of four years finally reached whatever was in charge of rain, and they decided to shut me the hell up.

They failed, cuz now all I'm commenting on is the magnitude of water. Suckers.

-Nate