He Built a Sex Robot Because of 9/11

Oh god no...

(Click on the link above for something weird)

Okay, read the article, or just skim it.

Here, I'll even put in a quote to buy you some time: "We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him." -Napoleon

Read it? Okay... isn't that freakin' weird? I mean, nothing new in what we expect from this world, just... it makes no sense. Thanks to Stephen Colbert, I saw this bit of news on his show. A Sex Robot... with a personality? Dah FUG?! That's just...

DA FUG?

Really, this article is the funniest thing I've ever read. The best part is how he justifies this completely twisted logic. Okay, so the reason the robot talks to you is because:

"Sex only goes so far - then you want to be able to talk to the person," Hines said.

But... but... isn't that something you do.... WITH A REAL PERSON?? Why get a robot? Isn't that for people that don't like PEOPLE? And why is he calling a sex robot a person? This is everything that is wrong with this world. Creepy looking sex robots with speaking abilities are exactly the Terminator s**t we don't need.

But what is truly, TRULY baffling is this part:

"An engineer, Hines said he was inspired to create the robot after a friend died in the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks."

.......WHAT.

I don't know any friends that would like to be remembered with a Sex Robot. Is Hines using 9/11 as a excuse for being a crazy ass? Why must this world be so damn bizarre? I'm pretty sure the conversation was awesome, though:

Hines: "Linda, after all this pain, I think that I have come up with the perfect way to remember your husband."
Linda: "Thanks, Doug. Tim would really appreciate-"
Hines: "I'm going to build a Sex Robot for him."
Linda: "...."
Hines: "I'll program it with Soccer trivia."
Linda: "GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE."

Oh yeah... I woke up. Did some errands of modest note. Ate some cheap tacos. Rocked the job. I came home and watched some TNG. Uncanny, I know.

-Nate