Sunday, February 7, 2010

Nate's Big Scheme in the Event of World Collapse

Super Bowl! Whoa, Nelly! SUPER BOWL XLIV!!! Oh dang, coolness!
The Saints won. I was hoping they'd win. And that sums up that.

Moving on.

I want to make a pact with you. Yes, you. The Reader of this blog. Don't turn around. I'm not talking to whoever is reading this over your shoulder. I'm talking to YOU.

I think we need to organize an Omega Objective.

No, not just "an" Omega Objective. THE Omega Objective. The plan and course of action that will come into play when/if the world goes tits up. We got to have the Omega Objective so that we are ready to swing into action while everyone else is still in shock or trying to figure out their next step. We'll be focused and determined to complete our mission.

I'll explain what our Omega Objective is after I give you some back story on why I had this sudden realization that we need said Objective. My Dad is something of a realist/pessimist. He feels that many of the decisions we make have already been chosen for us by our genetics. He doesn't trust any religions. And mostly finds that a flip of the coin is probably going to decide the fate of mankind. I must admit, that I have come to these same conclusions myself, though I like to temper my realism with optimism. My parents and I were having breakfast this morning, when, out of curiosity, I asked my Dad what his prediction for the future is.

And it was dire.

If the Republicans get back into full control, he feels that they will drag us right into more unnecessary wars, and spend America right into another Depression. Because of America's fear of anything that slightly resembles socialism, the need to convert the bank system into a more government controlled design will be refused. Our credit will be shot, and then I and my generation will have to struggle and fight harder then almost any generation before us. All the time, Bin Laden will play against our weaknesses till we bleed ourselves dry trying to destroy "terror." Which begs the question... If we do go into a Depression with a capital "D", what can I possibly do? Thus was born:

The Omega Objective.

In the event of national, if not world-wide, Depression, I devise a scheme to hunt down each and every CEO and politician that profited from the Stimulus package and take the money back. That money does belong to the people after all, and no CEO should ever have received a bonus from it. No politician should have utilized it for more than the good of the general public. That kind of greed needs to be punished.

Okay, that's the serious part, but the fun part is the fact that it will be a kick ass movie plot. Like Ocean's Eleven meets The A-Team meets Escape From New York. I can't do this alone. Nor would I. We're on mission for justice, purpose, and money. We are the last vestiges of an American Dream that had been wronged. We are the People... do not f**k with us.

Of course we will only act upon the Omega Objective in the event of economic collapse or other such horrific event. But if we have to, I need to have an idea what my crew will consist of, and what they're jobs are. So...

The Omega Objective Sign-Up List:

1. The Idea Man/Leader: NATE
2. Second-In-Command: ???
3. The Insider: ???
4. The Wheelman: ???
5. The Eye In The Sky: ???
6. Demolitions: ???
7. Martial Arts Expert: ???
8. Weapons Expert: ???
9. The Wild Card: ???

Applications will be accepted on an As-Needed basis. Thank you for your interest in joining my Omega Objective.



Amy said...

I would like to formally apply for the position of Demolitions person. Though I have not yet undertaken any professional work, I am pretty knowledgeable about what kind of stuff burns/blows up. I already own my own hair spray/cigarette lighter apparatus, plus a working potato and microwave.

Thank you for your consideration.

NateTheGreat said...

Thank you for your application. The next step is an interview, followed by a demonstration.