Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Fetal Position is a Must

I did my comic run today and I realized that Lainey, Mark, and Nancy are like the Big Three in DC. Mark is Superman, Nancy is Wonder Woman, and Lainey is Batman. There backgrounds are even the same:

Mark is a guy who gets along with just about anyone and inspires them to be the best comic reader they can be, and he’s always there when you need him the most.

Nancy comes from a very independent background and has become a comic shop owner in the “Man’s World” of comic books.

And Lainey dresses up at night as a bat and beats up criminals.

The analogy is just about perfect.

I headed to Norwalk after the shop. It was an uneventful day, except that Karmin and I started cracking up about an insane skit idea that came out of Nowhere. You know, that special Nowhere where the best ideas, or strangest In-Jokes, come from. Allow me to explain the idea.

This skit is one of those “meme” skits that can work in nearly any situation. But the more serious and inspiring the situation, the better. I’ll throw an example at ya:

“The Triatholon”

WALTER, a regular joe, is looking at an ad for an upcoming Triathalon. A look of inspired determination crosses over his face.

Next, Walter is at a store buying some workout clothes. He happily buys the clothes.
Walter is working out at a Gym, he looks determined and happy.

He is then signing up on the day of the Triathalon, he looks ready to take on the world.
Walter is first in line for the Triathalon, as other runners walk up to the line after him.

He looks amped beyond anything before.

WALTER: Let’s do this!

The runner next to Walter turns to Walter and punches him in the gut.


Walter collapses and immediately goes into the fetal position. The signal gun goes off and all the runners take off and jump over Walter’s body.



Yeah, I know, pretty messed up right? But the “punch line” is the gut punch and the “Huuuuhh!” sound. It sounds like a cross between a dry heave and a gasp. They’re getting the wind knocked out of them. And they always collapse immediately, no matter how big and tough or small and fast they may look. And the fetal position is a must.

It works with a soldier getting pumped up to follow some general into battle, especially when it’s the inspiring speech segment of any war or epic action movie.
The leader does his cool speech thing, and one dude is all “I’m ready to do this! Yeah!” and then he gets gut punched by some other dude. So the enthused guy goes “Huuuuuhh!”, grabs his stomach, collapses, and goes into the fetal position.

There. Lather, rinse, repeat: COMEDY GOLD.

Topics of Conversation: 6 cat limit, possible T-shirts, post-fight strut, Hell Paso, tiny button labels, canoles, an awful experience is only awful to the person that experiences it, eating bad food, getting Lost, Italian rock bands from the 70’s, etc.


1 comment:

Karmin said...

OMFG!!! Steven Hawking!!! Hahahahaahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!