Stress is a car that has the “SERVICE ENGINE SOON” light on.
More stress is taking it in to a mechanic.
Even more stress? Not having the money to fix the major stuff.
The repairs will cost me over $300, but under $1000. I’m not being specific on purpose, but I know how much it will cost exactly. There is still a world of hurt in that little numerical mine field.
My parents had a talk with me about getting my act together and not only having money in the future for this kind of stuff, but more of a sense of security. Actually, it was a great talk. I walked away feeling more focused and determined to achieve the stuff I need to achieve.
So, because I always look for metaphors and symbolism in my life, I’m looking a the “Service Engine Soon” as both for my car, and for myself. I’ve been running myself pretty haphazardly as of late (for oh say the past 3 years), and I haven’t really been doing the maintenance I need for my own life. To have confidence in my life and my abilities to take care of myself.
Its not like I’ve done any stupid driving with my existence. No drugs. No alcohol addiction. No smoking. No kids. No unemployment (except for parts of 2007). No troubles with the law. And I don’t think I treat people badly (but then most a-holes don’t know they’re a-holes). I’m at least, by the end of the day and after everything is said and done, a decent person. And that’s not a bad thing to be.
But I have to step it up. I need to have more than a life that I can live with. I need to have a life that I can be more thankful for. Not that I’m not thankful now, but there’s a difference between thankful and THANKFUL. I need to have CHOICES for my career. I can’t just stick myself in the nebulous phantom zone of “working in film.” I need to cement who I will be and how good I am at it.
And I would really, really like to be able to pay my bills without breaking into hives. That would be nice.
And I’d like to throw out a quick thanks to everyone who helped me through the day. It was needed, and MORE than appreciated. Especially to my parents. You two treat me way too good and I owe you the world.
Emo Nate is gone now. Long live Ambitious Nate!
Topics of Conversation: The dreaded light, having a plan, the height difference between Trolls and Goblins, hard life knocks, sorbet, living the dream and how to, etc.