Friday, April 23, 2010

The Second Movie I Saw Was Ridiculously Bad

I caught up with Aaron and Justin and we watched The Losers. Justin had seen it earlier, but he said it was worth a second viewing.

The Losers is actually a really good movie. Very fun and action packed with some great performances, with the notable stand-out being Chris Evans. I was surprised with how fun the movie was. I had read the comic, and it was intense, to say the least. Only one character ever cracked jokes, and everyone else was intense and prone to glaring.

The director must have decided to ditch that and go for the laugh and nifty slow-mo. To good results actually. I liked all these characters a lot, and more quickly at that.

A good movie, if you want some popcorn action with some cool visuals. I’d recommend it.
On a side note, you might notice that The Losers is part one of an unofficial action team movie trilogy hitting 2010. The second will be The A-Team, followed by The Expendables. I was looking forward to each of these movies, and so far, am off to a great start. Though the one I’m really looking forward to is The Expendables. I mean, that’s more my 80’s childhood than even The A-Team, with Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and a Governor Arnold appearance. In the same scene for crying out loud!

After The Losers, we ate at John’s Amazing Fantastic Incredible Astounding WTF Spectacular Ridiculous Mind-Blowing Pizza. It was all right. (The name is wrong for my own amusement).

So what is this anti-vegan movie that I mentioned? Why its none other than one of the worst movies in existence!

I watched Troll 2 with Aaron, Justin, and Amy at Justin’s place. This movie… lives up to its reputation. I mean its BAD. Really BAD. Some of the worst dialogue, weakest plot points, and awful characters that I have ever had the dubious honor to experience. Right off the bat, you are quick to realize that there are no Trolls in Troll 2. Not a one. There are goblins, yes. The movie should have been called Goblins. But no, they wanted to be the sequel to a movie I never heard of, and not even an actual sequel, since, from what I’ve heard, the stories of Troll and Troll 2 have nothing to do with each other.

Wow. And that’s, like, in the first ten minutes.

The family that is the centerpiece to this ridiculous movie are confusing, to say the least. The Dad doesn’t listen to any of his kids, and doesn’t have any motivation to do the things he does. The Mom is creepy. I mean, the actress just stares without blinking most of the time. There is no warmth to be found in her presence. The Daughter is a crazy, hypocrite bitch. No joke. She hits people with little reason, and then changes her mind constantly. And then she dances for no reason at all. The Son, Josh (I think), is just not a bright kid. I mean, he’s the main character, but he does things that can only be viewed as DEEPLY STUPID.

They go to a town called Nilbog (think about that for a second, and you’ll figure out the “shocking” secret of this sleepy town). And every single resident of Nilbog could not BE more creepy and obviously not actors than they are in every scene. But the most confounding and annoying character is the Grandpa.

You see, Grandpa is a ghost.

Yes, he’s a ghost determined to help his family escape from Nilbog. Not in any truly helpful ways, mind you. Like, oh, I don’t know, TELLING the family to get the hell out. No, he leaves the explaining of monsters and goblins in the capable hands of 10-year-old Josh. You know, because adults ALWAYS listen to kids when they talk about goblins. And its not like he can only speak to Josh, because he accidentally, yes ACCIDENTALLY talks to the Daughter. He didn’t intend to, but he could all along. ARGH.

Josh saves the day because he eats a bologna sandwich. No joke.

This movie is ridiculous. If you watch it with that focus in mind, then you will not be disappointed in the least. So neither was I.

Topics of Conversation @ Justin’s place: Nilbog milk, getting your dollar’s worth of complaining, F**k that Ghost Grandpa!, corn fetish, Chris Evans, the crazy faced witch, Oh! NILBOG! argh…, the too many positive adjective pizza, etc.


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